"I am here in the hospital, feeling pretty shitty as a matter of fact.  I made the 'mistake' of going to the dentist last week and have ended up with an absess.  This has given mum and Sandy a chance to lay waste to my house - something she has little chance to do at home.  She says she should come over every couple of weeks and tidy up - well poop on her!  I always intended the cleaning to get taken care of... but you know what the road to hell is paved with.

I have to admit this isn't t he way I wanted things to go - not this way.  I always suspected this was the way but it sucks - big time.

I will write more if I feel better.  Until then I love you all and miss you already."

.

Most difficult moments of 2003:

1. Finding out that the chemo I'd been on for 9 weeks hadn't done any good - in fact, seemed to have exaggerated things a bit. This included having a weekly draining of the pleural cavity about 1 litre of fluid has been syphoned out of the pleural cavity each week, a procedure which is anything but A Good Time.

2. Having a blood clot go my right lung. Not fun. Pain beyond belief and because of that...

3. Having to go on oxygen for 18 hours a day, whether at home or out. I have an oxygen generator at home, and portable tanks to take with me when I go out. We named our home generator 'R202', But that meant…

4. No flying, because of the difficulty of organizing oxygen at the other destination, and because the pressure changes in the plane might make my breathing much more difficult, or could dislodge the clot. And that meant..

5. Having to cancel going to the world science fiction/fantasy convention in Toronto, despite the fact that a very good friend offered to organize whatever oxygen I needed.
   

Best moments of 2003:

1. Believing that the new chemo I'm on is doing the job, because of the side effects I'm noticing, specifically a) Hair thinning: I'm looking at this as a good thing because it means that the mitosis of hair growth has been interrupted, which means the mitosis of tumor cells is being affected in the same way, b) Pleural cavity draining: now, it's happening every two weeks instead of one, and rather than a litre, we're down to under a litre, c) Bloating: I've had some strange bloating because of what's going on, where I can gain two pant sizes in one day, but on this new chemo, the bloating is much less. I only notice a bit a nausea and tiredness over the three days directly after my treatment. My appetite’s good, and I'm mostly getting a good sleep at night. So, all of these things we believe to be Very Good Signs.

2. Spending several weekends up in the mountains, enjoying the fall colours. So we can’t fly! So what! We'll find a way to celebrate and enjoy everything that's going on, anyway. More on this later.

3. Being told that my oxygen levels are up high enough that I only need to we use oxygen towards the end of the two weeks - near when I need to be drained. I certainly don't need my portable tanks anymore, which is great.

4. Being given my doctor's blessing to fly! That was the best thing to hear of all. Bruce and I are already planning a trip, maybe in February or March, to Las Vegas, We're hoping my parents can come with us, even if they come only for four days. They need and deserve the break, and we want to show them 'our' Las Vegas.
   

I never is my wildest dreams thought I would have to do this, but I am honored to do it. The picture to the left shows exactly what I think Robyn is doing right now.  Sorry if that's one of your loved ones in the background...

Many of you don't know the things that my sister and I did - like sticking gummi bears to our faces to see how long they would stay, or how we joked that for hallowe'en all she'd have to do is turn her wig around and she could be cousin It...but you all knew her in your own way.  Some knew Robyn well, some met her once or in passing.  No matter how or why you knew her, I can honestly say you were glad that you did.
.

In these pages you will learn more about Robyn from Robyn herself - she left a book of instructions for me (figures), but you will also read what others had to say about her.  You won't be surprised by the fondness that everyone had for her.  There is also a quote someone said reminded them of Robyn : Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely on a well preserved body, rather to skid sideways, totally worn out, shouting "...Holy Shit...What a ride!"

There is one favor I have - the next time some one comes knocking on your door in the middle of dinner, asking for money to support the cancer fund - think of Robyn.  A handful of change from a thousand people is worth more than $50.00 from one.

Thanks to all of you for being her friends and for being a part of Robyn and who she was.  We miss her more than words can say.

-- Sandy        

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Announcement - Calgary Herald & Calgary Sun

We regret to inform you that Robyn Herrington finally lost the fight with cancer. She didn’t go willingly, but understood there are just some things you can’t win. Robyn passed away at the Foothills Hospital on Monday, May 3, 2004 at the age of 43 years. Robyn is survived by her loving husband of 23 years Bruce; parents John and Gisela Brown; one brother and one sister. Robyn loved life – her husband, family, in-laws and friends. She knew that she was a much better person for having known them all, and wished only that she had more time. Robyn knew that life was and is a gift; to never take one second for granted. “Challenge yourself; educate yourself; never ‘settle’- always strive for more. Always want more. Always want the best for you and those you love. Never hold grudges or be bitter; love those around you. Love as if there’s no tomorrow, and always have fun.”

A Memorial Service will be held at FOSTER'S GARDEN CHAPEL, 3220 - 4 Street N.W., (across from Queen's Park Cemetery) on Monday, May 10, 2004 at 3:00 p.m. In lieu of flowers, memorial donations may be made directly to the Alberta Cancer Foundation, c/o The Tom Baker Cancer Centre, 1331 - 29 Street N.W., Calgary Alberta T2N 4N2.
Expressions of Sympathy may be forwarded to the family at www.mem.com


FOSTER'S GARDEN CHAPEL
FUNERAL HOME AND CREMATORIUM
Directors. Telephone: 297-0888.

Honoured Provider of Dignity Memorial